Mermaid Parade!

All photos are copyrighted Rachel McMinn June 2014

Ever since I was a small child, I have absolutely been infatuated with mermaids. The first time I saw Ariel, I wanted to be her (maybe that's why I found a husband with red hair?). One of my first Halloweens, I had my Mom make me an Ariel costume. I remember that costume fondly, with the beautiful sea inspired headband and wand to go with it! Each bath time or pool time or ocean time I would pretend my legs were melded together into one beautiful long flipper to dash through the water with. I dreamed that I had shiny, iridescent scales on my flipper so I would catch the sun's rays as I danced through the waves. Instead of a fish as a best friend, I always pictured myself teaming up with a dolphin or beluga whale. We'd get into all sorts of under sea mischief, and collect all manner of important sea shells, drift woods and human items washed out to sea. But, as we all know, you can't grow up and be a mermaid (no matter how hard you wish upon the stars).

Fortunately for me, the annual Coney Island Mermaid Parade allows me to revisit my childhood dreams and whimsy. Maybe one year I'll actually concoct an outfit and join the parade! The first Saturday of Summer every year, the streets (and subway cars!) are filled with sea creatures! It's been a couple of years since I've gone to the parade, but not too much changed. There are some fancy new rides at Coney Island, but even the Stillwell Avenue facades haven't been impacted too much. Three blocks are cordoned off to allow for a fantastic barrage of scantily clad people in shimmery fabrics and hot glued sea shells to dance and "swim" through the streets.

I must say, there were many more mermaids on their iPhones than I've encountered in previous years, but for the most part there was the same level of pep and excitement that I have come to expect from the parade. Plus, how can you not have a great day when you get to finish the parade with a delicious hot dog from the Original Nathan's? With a large, cool, ice-filled lemonade to ease that dog down, there isn't anything I can imagine being more American.

We continued our day at the shore with a trip to the Coney Island Sideshow. There was everything you could possibly ask for- fire, humongous nails, sword-swallowing, body contorting, a bed of nails, an audience member pumped with electricity . . . fun was had by all. Now I just hope that John doesn't ask for sideshow classes for his birthday!

Then, to round out the day, we sat on the cool sand and looked out to the ocean. The persistent scent of marijuana kind of ruined my enjoyment of the ocean view, but I tried to tune it out and breathe with the waves. It's Coney Island, so you don't really expect a beautiful, clean beach to begin with--but it would have been nice to smell the salty spray of the sea. Instead I pouted with a yummy ice cream cone and looked at the worsening sunburn on my shoulders as we made our way back to the subway station.

Til next year, dear Mermaids, when we meet again on the longest day of the year.

Solitude

My Summer break has commenced, and with it a period of solitude. Not in the lonely, reaching out and missing sort of way but rather the silence and quiet of choice. At the end of the school year, the best thing for my chaotic mind is a week of hibernation. It's not about sleeping in or resting my body, it's about giving my mind time to think and recoup.

Today I went for a short walk through my quaint, lovely neighborhood. During the week days there really are only moms with strollers, the elderly, and construction workers out and about. You can walk slowly without feeling rushed and hassled. I could take time to appreciate the green seeds on the lilac bushes, the way most iron-wrought gates were slightly opened and askew. I noticed the way that the world gets dark for a split second when a bird flies through the path of the sun. The sky, without a single cloud, looks like it could swallow the world in a single gulp.

I went to my happy place, my inner peace's home, a place where I always feel welcomed: the bookstore. It doesn't usually matter which bookstore I go to, the sense of belonging resonates in each one. As I drift away to worlds of fiction and start to travel through time and space via the power of words, I feel so good! Part of me comes to life that lies dormant when I am not actively involved in literary pursuits. I feel good, like apple pie cooling on a windowsill good. And it makes me want to write again, to be one of those voices on the shelf of a local bookstore.

For the past couple of months I have been trying to take a mental journey to stillness, calm, and quiet. My mind was up in arms at every turn, unsure of what to do, where to go, if anything at all in life was going right. My self doubt has been a lifelong battle, and I have never felt good enough at what I do or where I am in life. It is something that I know to be irrational, but also something that I am unable to shake. There is a niggling voice that comes up from time to time that eats away at any confidence reserves that I build up. But I am not going to let the doubt in me win.

I started to practice yoga more frequently. I thought that yoga would be a good way to ease into exercise and work on my body. It has helped more immensely with my mind than my body. I find the breathing to be so relaxing and soothing. Moving my body and flexing in ways that I didn't think I can bend feels rewarding. For the first time in a long time, I am proud of things that I can do with my body! My proudest moment is when I conquered the shoulder stand. One of my yoga instructors commented that she loves to see me smile while I practice yoga--I can't help but smile when I feel so much joy in what I'm doing.

I took a class on meditative painting and how to unblock my creative unconscious through meditating (you can see my work below). I am encouraging myself to do more things independently instead of relying on someone else to go with me. I am trying to empower myself and my choices so that my mind has less to argue about.

I have been thinking a lot about family, about a place that we all use to gather, a place where I found my creative voice to be strong and vibrant. I am coming to terms with letting a lot of things go and opening my mind for new adventures. During the meditation, I saw my beloved dock/pier drifting away into the ocean. It's not moored to the ocean floor but rather bobbing up and down. The sun, when I am near the ocean, is always SO big, so reflected by the ocean waves. And so it is very big in my painting. The teacher posed this question to me, but I am not sure of the answer: Why does the dock's pylon pierce the sun? Why are the pylons uneven? My mind has not yet figured out the reasons.

What do you do to soothe your mind? How do you challenge yourself and your routines? What has been most valuable to you in your pursuits?